No Excuse.

I have no excuse for not blogging other then not feeling like it. It's the same with emailing my friends. I guess I was just tired and confused, but I'm not anymore! I just want to have fun, do something that makes me happy and smile. Did I mention how much I love to laugh? I think I needed a good laugh so bad that when I walked into French class last week, I was hysterical! I just started laughing at EVERYTHING! The teacher said she was scared and then SHE started laughing. We were both laughing for a while. That was a good day.

Gosh I just realized that while I was typing this, I really miss blogging! So I might blog a bit more, more then usual I mean. I am the kind of person who gets bored of things really easily, I guess thats why I started off blogging every day and now only do it once every 2 weeks..I'm gonna work on that.

Well nothing super exciting happened, I mean yes stuff happened but it is slightly more personal, so I'll keep it to myself (:

SPRING BREAK! WHOOT! AND Taylor is coming back! TOMORROW! Miss you <3

I don't feel like explaining how school has been for the past 2 weeks so I will just talk about my last day, because it was by far the best (:

Gym we played dodgeball! For those who know me know that I LOVE dodgeball~. But this guy kept hitting me, like I was his target, and he hit me pretty hard, in the chest, stomach, and face. I being a good sport, STILL went to jail. Gosh I am just so nice (: Can't wait till next time~! Geo we just wrote a test, eeh. Easy. Math was probably my most fun class. My teacher sent us out on a scavanger hunt all around the school, guess he didn't think about 30 teenagers running around the school and disturbing classes. (; . My team was so close to winning too! We came in SECOND. Technically, because the actual team that came in second didn't actually do anything...Then my teacher let us out 30 minutes early. Lunch I spent outside. I ate there and then me and my friends A and T went exploring~! We discovered a bunch more to our already special place (: French I slacked ALOT. Oh! Chivalry is dead, just saying. English was pretty victorious too. Taylor you would be so proud: our entire class ganged up on Eric because he was being stupid and an idiot. I got my share of yelling too (: Eric didn't look so happy. Then school was over. The end was great! 

I have nothing else to really say, getting ready to PARTY! WHOOT~! Haha (:

I promise to try blogging soon! (I keep all promises)

Night <3

"I'm waiting, waiting for my world to change. For now I'll just have fun" 

It's Like All Those Things You Choose To Experience.

I have been sick this entire week and going on the computer hurts my eyes and makes them water, so I choose not to, don't hate me~!

Oh and hey, here's some advice, if you think your going to sneeze but it isn't coming, its stuck pretty much, say watermelon. As crazy as it seems and as much as I hate to admit it, it actually works (:

So my week....well it was filled with SICK. I couldn't do much and on Tuesday, my back hurt so much, I couldn't even get out of bed. School was not to shabby though (: Gym was just volleyball and we even played dodgeball once. I actually like to just play volleyball,  but not the actual one. We play this one called Queen's Court, and it doesn't matter how many people you have, as long as you get the ball over the net and in bounds. (; We played twice and not to sound like I am bragging or anything but my team won both times ;D. Geo is probably my most boring class. I even like English more. And NOTHING is as monotone as English. But yeah. Me no likey Geo. The only decent part is the bowling. Which we did yesterday. Math is just.....Math. Same old same old (;. French is really fun! I enjoy French, because I actually do like learning other language. My teacher though, moved this REALLY annoying guy and his friend beside me......people say I am the girl version of him. The annoying guy. But I don't think so, right? English....so....monotone.....zzzzzz. We got a project and me and my friend B are partners! WHOOT. We have to do amazing on it though. 50 marks guys.

On another note, I went to the gym on Tuesday! Pretty proud of myself (: Worked out! Today to, because it class we go to the ALC....A bit awkward at first, for those who know what I am talking about, but it ended up okay. Also I had a choir concert ON THE SAME DAY. So needless to say, my Tuesday was busy.

Today, also, this guy pissed me off. see nobody likes him, I don't get how ANYBODY can stand him. I don't like him, just saying. Actually on the contrary, I EXTREMELY DISLIKE him. Not hate, hate means passion, and just no. I seriously wonder if he likes the sound of his own voice though, because he is always talking and being really loud. And he always tells everyone to shut up and how they have no friends, but seriously HE NEEDS TO SHUT UP BECAUSE HE IS THE LOUDEST AND HE HAS NO FRIENDS. His name starts with an E, get it? Your probably wondering why I am bothering even mentioning him, but he pissed me off exceptionally well today. And I need to vent. It probably won't happen again, but it is him. Seriously. One day when we graduate, I'm going to go up to him and say "I don't need a good bye, just stand there while I BEAT YOU UP." (: I told him to shut up today, fine moment~.

Well I don't have anything else to really say, so yeah.

Keep on potassium pumping guys.

Peace and Zefron.

Night <3

"Mars looks exceptionally bright tonight."

Sup Bro? I Am So Proud Of You!

Yes I know, not original in ANY WAY. But whatever, I can't always be awesome so sue me.

So yeah, I haven't written in a while, but thats because nothing interesting has happened. I went to school, and on weekends I just chill. Well actually I started volunteering on Sunday evenings, at a retirement home. It is really fun actually; and the people are really nice. There's Evan, who is SO FLIPPIN' FUNNY. and random, but whatever he's a cool dude (: and also there is Trevor and Megan and Jason and this girl's name that I always forget....but she is really fun too (: Plus there are the ladies that I serve who always compliment my hair and talking about how they want to braid it or do something elegant to it, I have amazing hearing so I overhear. I just serve drinks. Do you know how much hot water actually smells? IT FREAKING STINKS. Normally water doesn't smell much, but this water smells. HORRIBLY.

I haven't written anything lately, I find that I can only write when in a certain mood. And I haven't been in that mood obviously.

IT.FINALLY.HAPPENED. In English today; this girl who I have mentioned previously I think in "Please Don't" finally got over the damn cocky bastard that she has been obsessing over. Pardon my French (oui oui). I am SO proud of her! He is a good for nothing kind of guy, the type to save his own skin and nobody else's. I just couldn't get over that (: Now if only the OTHER girl could see how much of a selfish jerk he was, well it might take some time.

So nothing interesting has happened. BLAH. My life is boring. It's been what? 2ish weeks? 1 and a half? Something like that. But yeah, nothing has happened. Nothing special, nothing life changing, nothing ROMANTIC. Well with the guys that go to my school you can't expect any different. On the bright side; I hear Taylor is doing AMAZING~! Good luck bro (; you know what I mean. I hope. Lets refresh shall we? haha NAAH not in public (;

Okay so PEACE, AU REVOIR, SEE YA.

Night <3

"Mamma Mia, here I go again, my my, how can I resist you?"

English Thumke

That means, basically bump English to the side, cause my culture is taking over!

I am in such a good mood! I had 2 really good days so far (: I mean, well I will explain,

Thursday, we did a Math contest for Period A, so I didn't do gym, then we had Geo, which actually does fly by really quick, which is a good think because it is my least favorite class, I don't really know why, I just am not that interested. Then we got a spare because of the Math contest for period C. It was a lot of fun, cause I chilled with M for that, and lunch! It was great because I never really hang out with her one on one. AWESOME! Then it was French, and well I just love the word "biscuit". It is so funny, me and my OTHER friend M, well we just couldn't stop laughing because we thought it was pronounced "bisKUHT" but ACTUALLY it is pronounced "bisQWE" so we were just laughing really hard. The fact that she has this colorful xylaphone really does NOT help. English was pretty chill too (: My friend B told me how happy I looked and well we can all guess what it was about (hint it rhymes with getting low). Apparently, I surprised her, and myself too.

Then TODAY, we played table tennis, and well I used to be a really competetive person, then I realize well those people really don't have a life. Guess I let go of that too. (: ANYWHO, me and my friend L were just having a blast, dancing because we lost ;) . We definitely were the party group, we put a smile on everyone we versed faces. (: That to me is a real win. OKAY TO CHEESY. umm Geo was fast, THANK GOD. Work class (: Math, well my teacher picked on me. AND we got our tests back, I did great (: I am not bragging, I am just really happy with my mark! We got out early too! WHOOT. Lunch was pretty chill, me and my friend B were just laughing about the randomest things. In French, I had to do a presentation. It was just 30 seconds though. It was pretty funny actually. Some pretty funny stuff happened at the beginning of class (: I AM MAKING FRIENDS GUYS. I am so happy (: . Also we went to the computer lab, and my computer stopped working, so I had to sit by, well I will call him V. ANYWAY, I had to sit by him and I pretty much just helped him work, it was fun! Cause the French was kinda stupid. Seriously. English flashed by really quick to, just a writing class. And after school, I well, I had a good time (: .

SO MY DAYS WERE PRETTY AWESOME.

I am back to my old self, after 2 weeks of deep S. Yeah, haha WAY OVER THAT. I guess she will be back, but for now, I'M BACK TO HYPER ACTIVE~! YAYAY!

SUP TAYLOR? I am still waiting for that reply to my email....no pressure or anything. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I GET TO TALK TO YOU. SO, sup? haha, LOVE AND MISS YOU <3 Good night! or morning, Or are you sleeping.....

HEY! Guys this song is brown but I don't care, LISTEN TO IT~! It's a fast song, called Desi Boys. My title is actually lyrics from it (: PARTY SONG! <3 ;)

I am in a dance-y mood, so IMMA GO DANCE. SEE YA.

Night <3

"Kudiyan de dil utte rule karange"
("we are going to rule the girls hearts")
"Just let go and smile for a while"

Your Eyes Speak The Truth.

Did you know that? Somehow I am pretty good at hiding it though, because people never seem to know when I am lying. Which isn't a good thing guys.

I am not saying you don't pay attention, you are just a bit careless. I am not afraid to admit it. You don't really see when you look.

Anyway, I didn't mean to make a harsh post, I was actually going to do the opposite, I wanted to talk about something, but I am not so sure about it.

Something got me thinking. If I was in a tough spot, my reputation was ruined, would you guys stay by my side, or would you be quick to judge me without listening to me first? I know running away would be the easiest option in this case; but it won't help. I would be brave and stay. Even if I think running away would be for the better; I would stay because I would want to fix everything. That doesn't mean if one of my "friends" realized the truth, I would forgive them easily. I mean they believed something without talking to me about it. That just shows me I shouldn't trust them.

I was just mentioning that because I just wondered what would happen if it happened. I would be completely alone. I don't know what I would do.

Also I want to answer a question my friend B asked me. I DON'T KNOW. You asked me something in class, and honestly, I might have said something else, but I honestly don't know. I used to. I will admit that, but right now I don't know. But I do know that I sure as hell don't WANT to. I wish every night for it to just pass. Life would be so much simpler. I am surprised that you saw it in my eyes. I thought for a minute that you could actually see the truth. But then you believed what I said. Well, I am not sure if you did, but you sure as hell didn't push it. I would have. I do. Just be honest with me. If you think I am lying push me to tell you the truth. Because it will help, no matter how much I refuse to tell you anything. If you were a good friend, you would push.

I am not yelling guys, just one of those harsh truth kind of things. I apologize if I offend anyone, but I am not sorry. Just deal with it, but don't come crying to me, because you chose to read this.

On a lighter note, the......er, well lets just say this thing, I am finally starting to let go, I realize that it isn't going to go anywhere and it isn't anywhere. and hopefully my heart will listen too. I am not going to lie to myself anymore. This time it is actually working. It's time to free myself. Today. I like this feeling. (:

Taylor, I wish you were here, miss you everyday <3

Night <3

"And I'm on my way to believing..."

Out Of Sight, But Never Out Of Mind.

Okay so, a few of my friends have been mentioning how deep I have become and I have one more little thing to mention before I move on. Well maybe not one, but it's just on my mind.

So my friend Taylor mentioned how she thinks everything happens for a reason. I agree with her, I believe that whatever your destiny is, it is your destiny. But I also believe that you can write your own destiny. Not the past, you can never change the past. Unless of course you chose to forget it. But you can change the present and the future. It's your destiny, you do have the power to change it if you will it to happen.

Okay thats all (:

Haha, I am not done blogging yet! Just that topic for now. I want to try being a little more light hearted. You see the me in blog and the me in school are different people. But they are the same too. I just chose to be a bit more cheerful, I guess you could say, at school. Seriously. If you see me without a smile, something is up.

Anyway, so onto my title. I really mean it. Taylor, you may be gone, but I am always thinking about you. It's kind of hard not to when you are worried why your friend isn't speaking much...BLOG GIRL! And then there is the fact of when I like a guy, he is the only thing I can think of. Every little thing reminds me of that guy. I can't help it either. But forget guys, even though it is Valentine's Day, I feel that this day is made for all kinds of love, NOT just for the love between a boy and girl (in a boyfriend-girlfriend kind of way). I MISS YOU TAYLOR~! Come back to Winnipeg~! I feel like something is missing everyday. And seeing K open your old locker makes me sad )': Come back and claim it! I personally liked it better when she was on the other end of the hallway... SO YEAH. Come back, I mean at least for a visit (: .

Well I have nothing else to say but,

HAPPY TUESDAY (:
And Happy Valentine's Day...I guess. (It's a love-hate relationship).

Night <3

"And I know time will heal it"

Tried, and Tired.

Two words spelled almost the same, but mean completely different things. The difference for me today being that I have done one and am feeling the other. You can put the pieces together.

I have tried. I have tried so much to try catching up with friends that I feel are fading away from me. I have tried to show people I am not just the girl who cares about having fun, I am a girl too. I have feelings, feelings that as much as I don't want to admit, get hurt easily. I hate admiting how weak I am. I try not to show it, and it usually works. But somehow, I am still not satisfied.

I am tired because of trying so much and not being successful. I am tired of people not catching on the line I am throwing them and helping me. If you get what that means. But most of all, I am tired of lying. To myself and to others. The only reason I truely lie is because I want no one to worry about me. I fel bad that people are wasting their time worried about me.

It seems like I just keep getting bad news; it's not a surprise anymore. When asked if I am okay, I do what I do best. I lie. I say I am okay, I say I am fine, but I'm NOT. I am just so sick of the question "are you okay?" because guess what, people are usually never okay when you ask that!

I don't give a damn anymore. I don't care what people think about this blog, I just want to vent. And hey it is your choice to read this, no one is forcing you. This has just been building up inside of me for so long it just needed to be let out. I might go back to the same girl who wants everyone else to be happy first later, but for now, this is how I feel. How I REALLY feel. And I might feel embarrassed when I read this, but I am not going to be sorry.

I might just be having a bad week, or maybe this is meant to be. My friend Taylor said that everything happens for a reason, I just want to know what reason is making me feel like crap.

Taylor also mentioned something else that made me stop and think, this is a bit less of a vent, and more of a girl who is just too tired to do anything else. She said it was okay to break down every once and a while. Putting up a strong act for a while will make you do that. I agree with her, I just realized that today. I can feel a break coming in me; it comes in the form of laughter or crying. I just hope it comes soon. And I hope it helps me make a decision.

Well now I am tired, physically too. I'll post soon, lets hope its something more happy (I highly doubt it since Taylor is moving Friday </3).

I will miss you Taylor, and you have helped me so much with your latest post <3 Love you to the moon and stars and way beyond <3. (':

Night <3

"I'm not going to take it no more"