It's Called Happiness With A Touch Of Impatience.

Thats exactly what I am feeling. On one side I am so happy because exams are done, and my next semster is much more fun and easy. I AM SO FLIPPIN' HAPPY~! I extremely dislike exams. Seriously. I am surprised that it isn't hate, but it's very close. You know what I do hate though? The ending of movies. Seriously, it's like life. But life is thankfully much longer then just 2 hours and some minutes. But the ending of movies, I don't know, they just seem like....then end. Maybe it's just me. But honestly? Think about it. Time flies by really quick. Which brings me to the second part of the title.

Taylor is moving. We thought we would have lots of time, but here we are. With just seconds, it feels like, left. I wish that she could stay longer, actually I wish she didn't have to move, but trying something new might be good. It's called reality. As much as I don't want her to move, everyone moves on eventually, this is just getting us ready. But keep in mind, just cause they leave doesn't mean they won't come back. So hear me when I say THAT IT ISN'T THE END. (: On the contrary darling, it's just the beginning.

Another reason of that part of my title, is because (normally I wouldn't be saying this because I know it takes time, but I am getting a bit.....impatient.) well, I just wish that a guy could come and sweep me off my feet. All I see is guys who are too full of themselves, or guys who just want something....physical (gag). Don't get me wrong, there are nice guys, but I do want a nice guy, but I want someone daring too. And here it comes, my speech of the perfect boy, which is literally EVERYTHING stuffed into one guy, or as I like to call him, Prince Charming. 

That amazing guy who makes your heart flutter, and your thoughts are always filled with him. The guy who keeps me on my toes, isn't afraid to stand up to me, he won't give me everything I want. If a guy did that, honestly, the relationship would get boring fast, plus a guy always buying you things just shows that he is trying to keep you by buying you things. I want a guy who is daring, isn't afraid to show who he is; meaning he doesn't care what others think. The kind of guy who is funny, always keep me laughing but will be there when I need a hug or I just want to let out the tears. He is gentle, and loving, sweet, and caring. I want a guy who keeps me guessing, and someone who will never change for anyone, ESPECIALLY me, unless of course he needs to be changed. And I really don't want a possessive guy. Seriously, I have friends who are guys, and I don't mind if the guy has friends who are girls. Unless of course they get to cozy...He isn't afraid to tell the truth. I don't like lies, I don't like to lie, and I strongly believe in promises, if you break one, I don't really know if I can trust you. Also, I have seen couples who spend all their time with eachother. Well I don't want to be that way, I will hang out with my friends, and I really want him too. This brings me to what I don't really like in a guy. The basic jerk, user, player, egotistic, doesn't care about anything but himself kind of guy. Also the kind of guy who thinks he is the best. I mention this a lot, the guy who guards himself, doesn't let anyone in, thinks he is the best, above all others. I just don't like this type of person, seriously, I HONESTLY DON'T LIKE THEM. You aren't cool when you do that! JUST SAYING. GROW UP. 

Okay, I am done, got a little off topic there, that happens sometimes... (:

Well other then that I am SUPER busy, chilling tomorrow, Friday, Saturday.. School plus interview on Thursday, I have this thing at school some grand opening thing, and Sunday is spent getting ready for SCHOOL. AWESOME. Haha (: IN THE MEANTIME. 

Remember: Don't Drink, Stay in School, AND DON'T YOU EVER BE AN ICKY PERSON. (:

OHH~~! AND DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH MEAN PEOPLE. (:

STAY HAPPY~! ;D

Night <3

"This is my time to shine" 

Please Don't.

What I mean is please don't follow a guy around, trying anyway to get his attention. I have seen a few girls I know follow this one guy around, and I just want to smack some sense into them, you shouldn't follow a guy around, that just shows how obvious it is that you like him. And also, following him around might make him notice you, but not in a good way. If you want a guy to notice you, just be yourself. Sure do something to make him notice you, but not something like following him. Stand out, do something that will make him interested, not something bad, but something like singing a song, or dancing cause you feel like it, not caring what people think about you as long as your having fun. He might realize that you are a fun girl, who does what she wants to, and doesn't care what other people say about you. It will make him see you. Just don't play hard to get. Maybe a little, but too much is too much. Seriously, he might think your not interested, and then you'll lose your chance. JUST PLEASE DON'T FOLLOW HIM. you never know, he might use it to his advantage, and I don't want to see any girl get hurt. I will admit when I used to like a guy, I always used to be loud. I still am, but not to get attention, but because I can't change the fact that I am a loud person. But I am not doing it for some guy anymore. I don't like anyone right now, and I like this feeling. I am focusing on my music, or this blog. It makes me feel free.

Anyway, on another note, I am FLIPPIN' OUT over exams. No changes there (: SERIOUSLY SCIENCE. SHOOT ME. I HATE PHYSICS. oh by the way, I am at school, and I just finished my LAST SCIENCE CLASS. Yeah, it feels AMAZING. Now I just got the exam to do, and then I am all for my next semester (: Which is much easier, seeing as I don't have Science. (: IT FEELS GREAT. So today is my last day of this semster, but my international friend is LEAVING. ): He is from France, and he always makes me laugh, so it is kind of upsetting. I will see him once more, on a exam day, but then thats it. I do believe that it is possible that we will see eachother again. I do. Also Taylor is moving ): BUT we are chilling before she moves and she isn't moving FOREVER! (: which I constantly have to remind her, she is coming back. We have plans and she is coming back sometime either in Summer or Spring. I forget, remind me would you?

I don't believe in goodbyes. I always believe that people will meet again, if you say bye its only one more reason for you to never meet again. If you just don't say it, it is possible that you will meet again, some day. And good bye's are really sad. I am more of a happy person, even though I do have my moments, and will be serious when I have to be. But honestly, goodbye ruins the chance of ever meeting again, now you don't want that do you? So just smile, send who ever it is off with a hug.

So I just realized that I have no idea who reads my blog, I mean other then my friends, some completely random stranger could be reading it..or worse, someone who goes to my school.....oh dear.
I dont really care who reads my blog though (: but if there is someone else, let me know, feel free to comment!

Night <3

(some people always wonder why I put "Night" even though its the morning or something, it's just I know I won't be writing later, so I say "night" to you all to end the day, and begin another one. If that makes any sense..(: )

"You don't think I can do it? Watch me."

Exams, exams go away, come again another day, actually no exams you stay the hell away!

I know its a long title, but it's what I am feeling right now. I am actually posting from school, because I am bored in a class where I do nothing. So here we are. Just saying this isn't going to be one of those deeper posts, this is one of those RANTING posts cause I am FREAKING OUT.

I am currently hating exams, just kinda want to get them over with...it isn't even my Math, English, or History ones, it's all Science. I just want second semester to come! Seriously, why can't we just skip exams? We already did tests on all the units, is that not enough?

Anyway to get my mind off of exams, I have been writing, not songs but something else I am working on, since I am not done, I won't tell anyone, just yet.

Also school: The first period gym class has to SQUARE DANCE. I really got a kick out of that (: Oh jeez, in Math yesterday, I even wanted to dance, but I couldn't...nobody wanted too...but thats okay! I still danced (: Just cause nobody is going to dance with me, doesn't mean I won't dance. YOU CAN'T STOP ME. teehee (;

Other then that, school has been boring, we just study in all the classes, and I am writing a Process Exam in English. It's just an essay, about discrimination. I feel very strongly for the subject so thats good (:

ANYWAY. BACK TO RANTING. (:

I absolutely STRONGLY DISLIKE exams, especially Science exams, and memorizing facts for History, there is so many freaking definitions and facts and dates we have to remember! And I write to study, so that means that I am writing down every single FLIPPIN' definition AND fact AND date. Don't even get me started on the government unit. It's okay if it's a unit that I like, particularly one of the war units, but when it's something completely BORING like GOVERNMENT, jesus I want to just SHOOT SOMEBODY! I learned all that boring stuff a while back, and it's not something I really want to RE-LEARN. In Science its worse, because it's not stuff you can just memorize, you have to UNDERSTAND it or it makes NO SENSE. WHICH SUCKS. Because honestly, memorizing is MUCH easier. But memorizing really doesn't help. Which again, SUCKS. OH and MATH. My teacher just keeps on rambling and rambling, and talks about 40S Pre-Cal, WELL GUESS WHAT. WE AIN'T IN 40S PRE-CAL. So just stick to what we need to learn. Plus he gives us the EASIEST examples, and once we get to a exercise or test or something WE HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT TO DO. If your going to be a teacher TEACH IT RIGHT. Which mean the hard questions, no matter how much we whine or if your to lazy to teach us. ALSO in History, my teacher, she favours the 6 guys who sit at the front. WHICH IS SO NOT COOL. She doesn't care much about what we do, and she is always talking to those guys, FAVORITISM MUCH? NOT COOL BRO. Seriously, there are other people in the class you teach, maybe if you paid attention, you would REALIZE. This brings me to the guys. THEY AREN'T EVEN THAT COOL. They do stuff for attention, always yelling and doing something that will get them noticed. WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT. If the teacher isn't hard on the kids the first day, no matter how hard they try being, the kids will never listen, because of that first day. So BE HARD, first impressions are always important. BACK TO THE BOYS. Or just BOYS in general. Your not cool, if you try acting like nobody else matters, or that you are above everyone else, because guess what? The way your going, YOUR GOING TO DIE ALONE. Because you never realized that the way your going, always keeping your guard up or not letting anyone one, you won't end up with anybody. YOU WILL END UP ALONE. And you will regret it. Also, stop thinking like the world is over, if you keep thinking that way, then yeah maybe, but if you actually think POSITIVELY you can change it. SO BE POSITIVE FOOL, who knows someone might end up loving you (: <3

Alright I'm done ranting, sorry if I offend anyone, when I rant I tend to always say the truth, it's when you will really know what I am feeling, what I really think.

Night <3

"I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky, and I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and breakaway"

...SURPRISE!

YAY! The surprise party for Taylor went great! Of course I didn't mention anything because she does read my blog...but I'm telling you about it now~~! It was great, I got loads of junk food, and music, and BALLOONS! I loved poping those balloons <3 She was SUPER surprised (: WHICH WAS THE IDEA. I love planning surprise parties (: All of them have been a success I might add (; Which I am VERY EXTREMELY proud of ! Gosh, there was so much junk food.... ;D

The rest of the day was a bit of a bore, 2 tests, a movie I really didn't want to see, and a sub who was a total female dog >:(

I am not going to post any songs until I have finished them, because I do have some, they just aren't done yet. So I will post them when I have finished them, which might be soon! I found myself singing My Sweet Little Soldier a lot...anybody else? Well you don't know how it goes...it sounds kind of country, but then again I think it sounds better that way (: So YEAH, I will post them when they are done. I really do enjoy reading the comments (: SO KEEP COMMENTING. Maybe if your good I might even sing a song for you (:

Night Lovelies <3

"This is just a dream"

My Sweet Little Soldier

I was in a good song writting mood today, and I really like the one I wrote, it's a bit sad, I'm going to tell you right now. But if you don't think so, well you obviously have no heart.

It's called My Sweet Little Soldier

I was only 17
When you first caught sight of me
I was working at a little cafe
on the corner
you made your way over to me
you said "can I have a coffee please"
your piercing green eyes
caught be by surprise
as I stuttered out an answer

You'd come everyday
again and again
and one day you
asked where I lived
you said you wanted to take me out that night

And I didn't hesitate
I told you where and you said
It was a date
I smiled as you waved and said goodbye

CHORUS:
Well we write
letters to eachother
and I find myself missing those green eyes
I can't wait for the day you come back again.
I remember that first day
I saw you
I was so glad
that you saw me too
I'm really starting to love you
My sweet little soldier

That night when you picked me up
you took me to the riverside
you said you like the way the moon
made my brown eyes shine
We sat and talked
and the time flew by
you asked if you could
kiss me goodnight
I said I wouldn't mind if you did
And boy wasn't that
some kiss

Then you left
later that night
and I swore you took
my heart with you
I remember wishing that you'd be safe

I'd wait and wait
everyday
sitting in that
little cafe
But I knew you
wouldn't be there

CHORUS

I remember watching the news
late at night
and then they listed the names of the missing
and the ones that died.
That day I cried myself
to sleep
shouting out that
it just couldn't be
I found my self just wishing
That I could hold
My sweet little soldier

Oh oh why'd you have to
leave me
You promised that we would
always be
Now I realize that day when
we first met
I loved you and we hadn't
even spoken yet
Oh oh I really do love you
I try to live but I don't
have a clue
Come back
I can't be without you
I promise to do
everything I gotta do
Now I'm starting to get older
But I'll never forget
my sweet little soldier

Whatcha think? I was listening to Just A Dream by Carrie Underwood and the song inspired me, this and Traveling Soldier by Dixie Chicks. I really hope you guys like it :) Feedback please :)

My day was a bit confusing. Feelings wise I mean, I strongly disliked Science class. I am not going to say anymore before I start ranting.. but yeah. Me no likey. Other then that, I actually enjoyed Keyboarding.  :) Well I'm going to go now...hope you liked the song :)

Night <3

"This time, I'm gonna do it my way"

Once Upon A Time...

...there was a girl, who was scared. Scared of the attention, all eyes on her, scared of falling, scared what others might just think about what she wrote. That little girl is starting to change. One step at a time. Step one starts today.

Yes I realize I started with something a bit deep, something I only do when I really have something to say. Most would think it's weird, something deep coming out of the girl who everyone thinks is all about fun, don't give a care or whatever. But I do. I'm not the same girl everyone thinks I am. If fun is alll you think I care about, you really don't know me at all. I wrote something, not one but two somethings. Two songs to be exact, and I normally, I keep the songs I write to myself. Because I used to be afraid of what people would think, now I don't care. I want to show everyone the stuff I can do, even if you think it isn't any good. It might sound like a cheesy pop song, but if you look into the lyrics, they mean so much more. So here go's, song number one

Its called Before It Hits.

I feel your eyes on me
and it's just so hard
to look away
but I know I have to start

The part thats holding on
nees to let go
I'm losing my mind
I need to get in control

It never happened
but I know
It never will
It just doesn't fit
it's gotta stop and be still

CHORUS:
Cause we're going nowhere
and we never will
we gotta end right now
this has got to be killed
We gotta let go right now
we need to find the strength somehow

We got to let it be
We can't be fighting it
The walls are closing in on us
We gotta break through
before it hits.

Now I'm looking in a
different direction
I just can't look into that
broken connection
I can't risk it and I know
neither can you
Both of us together,
It will never be true

Now we gotta walk away
and can't look back
our lives together are ending
we gotta get back on track

CHORUS

There ain't nothing between us
I don't know why it's
tearing me apart
But I can't go on this way
it just keeps breaking my heart

CHORUS

...I'm not done yet, feedback would be appreciated (:

Okay...on to the next song

It's called Change, I think, but I might change it

Your probably thinking
that its all over now
That your done
It can't get worse anyhow
You can't go on suffering
all this pain
you need to get and to give
your everything

You gotta stand up
stop thinking that it's done
When you know that it's
just hardly begun
You can shine like the sun
in the sky so high
Soon you'll be doing what you always
thought was a lie

CHORUS:
It doesn't mean the end
you can always start again
Life is never over so don't you
be thinking it is
You just gotta do it right
you'll be flying out of sight
you can fix it so you don't make
those mistakes again

You go around like things
will never change
and they never will
if you keep acting this way
you need to realize
whats done is done
So you can live without regret
and just have fun

You need to be strong,
stop hurting inside
you need to face that it
was all a lie
so get up
and start running
soon you'll be leaving behind
all the broken apart bits

CHORUS

It's your life now
don't be saying goodbye
Just trust it and
everything will turn out right
It'll take time
But it's worth it
Cause you'll be living so you can
take the hit

CHORUS

again not done, feedback please (: And possibly a title suggestion for this song...

I'm not going to be afraid anymore.

Night <3

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself"

I'll Find Myself In Time.

I need to change. I don't know what made me see it, but I have, realized the truth I mean, I need to change. Not who I am, but a small part that has some damage in it. It needs some help and I will struggle. But all I can hope for is that it will happen, the change I need. Don't worry I'm not changing me, this little girl isn't going anywhere. It's more of whats inside of me, what I feel. I'm just wishing that what I want will happen, because I could really use it. It's one of my only true weaknesses. I saw someone acting....well a certain way that reminds me of me a bit. Today, I mean. And I just realized that I don't want to go on this way, I really don't. I need to let go, not hold on. I just do. Holding on to whats not even there isn't something good, your holding on to nothing, thats not a good thing is it. But I'm not going to lie, it's something I have been doing, just haven't had the strength to admit it. But I'm admitting it now, and I am going to fight it, no matter how hard it pushes back. This girl is not letting it get to her.

I'm going to start, now.

"You think you got the best of me, think you got the last laugh, think that everything good is gone. Think you left me broken, think that I'd coming running back, you don't know me, cause your dead wrong"
"You still think I'm nothing without you, but you don't know that things can change, like who I am inside, like the part that's holding on when it needs to let go"

It's All A Blur

The week is already done. gone, finished, CAPUT. I can't believe how fast the time is going! I only have 1 week and 4 days left before exams.....I finally understand Ecology though :) Which is good seeing as that is the only thing I was really worried about...and now the topic that i really am going to talk about.

School. Oh dear school. Well on the bright side Taylor FINALLY came back (: <3 Missed her so much <3 Also, well we had to make balloon cars for Science, that freaking killed me. I EXTREMELY DISLIKE BALLOON CARS. We spent so long on it and it didn't move. But its okay it moved after we made it (: so we are probably getting a 90...Honestly at this point I was fine with a 50. I really didn't like that project. But the actual races were really entertaining (: Keyboarding was...well Keyboarding. Boring yet fun. Math was kinda fun too, the beginning of this class was a balloon fight. Legit. It was fun (: I loved it! It's like yup this is our PGL Math class, aren't we just so serious? Lunch was so fast, English was alright, and American History was well crazy! There was a basketball game today, and we watched it, for last period I mean (: I also made a new best friend! His name is Gus. He is awesome :) He made me and my friend laugh so hard we were crying today, which is good seeing as we weren't having the best day. I mean it was Friday the 13th. OH SNAP. Atleast it wasn't October~! Gus is really hyper...like me! So yeah we are really alike :) 

On lighter note, I am going to be spending English class on Monday playing Tag around the school for a movie film type thing :) BEST DAY EVER. I can't wait <3 I'm still a kid, I love tag ;D

So I don't want to go deep today...but just remember to make time for all your friends, because if you aren't they are gonna think they aren't very important to you...

Okay I am going now, my show is on...The Vampire Diaries (I LOVE DAMON AND JEREMY). 

Night <3

"Just let go."

The World's Flashing By

The days are too. I mean school starts in 2 days and then the havoic of exams starts. I for one am not looking forward to it.

Well i'm glad I actually got some feed back to the last post, I mean I really mean what I write, I don't like to lie on this blog, I like to be truthful. If anybody doesn't agree well then you really don't know me. But yeah, stay positive hold your head up high, because through tough times if you don't, god knows that it won't be pleasant.

Over break I guess you could say that I had fun (: I hung out with friends and did some shopping. My favorite day was probably the first day of the new year, Sunday because well it was my cousins birthday and also her last day in town, shes going to an Art school in Calgary, and well it was so much fun :) we went out and got somethings and while she was getting her friends stuff (they were going together) me, my sister, and her brother were jamming out in her new car (she had gotten it the day before). We blasted the music really loud and were always switching the station. We didn't know the lyrics but that didn't stop us, we made them up to the beat ;D We ended up cutting cake in the last hour of her birthday, and well now shes gone and won't be back to visit until February, can't wait I miss her terribly <3

So yeah school....oh jeez. I am excited but the same time, I am not.

Night <3

P.S. I won't be writing as much, I do plan on using my time to study...

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone"